Hayya ka dopatta..... حیا کا دوپٹہ۔۔

By; Abrar Gulshan

Pardes Ki Eid Urdu Shayari.... Eid Abroad Urdu Poety.........! By; Abrar Gulshan

HUMAN OF PRESENT AGE... آج کا ا نسان۔۔

HUMAN OF PRESENT AGE
آج کا ا نسان۔۔

Today we have higher buildings and wider highways, but shorter temperments and narrower points of view.

We spend more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses, but smaller families. We have more compromises, but less time. We have more knowledge, but less judgement. We have more medicines, but less health.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk much, we love only a little, and we hate too much.

We reached the moon and came back, but we find it troublesome to cross our own street and meet our neighbors. We have conquered the outer space, but not our inner space.

We have higher income, but less morals… These are times with more liberty, but less joy… With much more food, but less nutrition…

These are days in which two salaries come home, but divorces increase. These are times of finer houses, but more broken homes.

That’s why I propose that as of today -- You do not keep anything for a special occasion, because every day that you live is a special occasion. Search for knowledge, read more, sit on your front porch and admire the view without paying attention to the needs. Pass more time with your family, eat your favorite food, visit the place you love. Life is a chain of moments of enjoyment; it isn’t only survival.

Use your crystal goblets. Do not save your best perfume… use it every time you feel you want it. Take out from your vocabulary phrases like, “one of these days” and “someday”. Let’s write that letter we thought of writing “one of these days…”

Let’s tell our families and friends how much we love them. Never pass up a chance at adding laughter and joy to your life. Every day, hour, and minute are special… Because you never know if it will be your last…

If you’re too busy to take some minutes to share this message with someone you love, and you tell yourself that you will share it “one of these days”.“one of these days” can be very far away, and you may not be there to see it.

Pointers on Choosing Marriage Partners

Practical and Applicable
Pointers on Choosing Marriage Partners
By Rabi'ah Hakeem

In light of the experience of the past years, it is time to take stock and try to halt the ever-mounting tide of divorces among Muslims. It is not unusual today to find Muslim women (and even an occasional Muslim man) who, by the time they are 30 or 35, have been married three or four times, their children suffering again and again through the trauma of fatherless and broken homes. Accordingly, we may list a few essential points to be considered by both brothers and sisters in the process of choosing a partner in life (although the masculine pronoun has been used throughout for the sake of simplicity, the following is generally equally applicable to both men and women).

1. Du'a. Unceasingly ask help and guidance from Allah, Most High, in the matter of finding and choosing a mate. As often as you feel it necessary, pray Salaah al-Istikhara, Islam's special prayer for guidance, in order to reach a suitable decision.

2. Consult your heart. Listen to what your inner voice, the 'radar' which Allah has given you to guide you, tells you about the prospective partner. It is likely to be more correct than your mind, which often plays tricks and can rationalise almost anything. For many people, first impressions are often the most accurate.

3. Enquire. Find out the reason why this man wants to marry you. Is he interested in you as an individual or will just any person do? Why is he not doing the logical thing, that is, to marry someone from his culture? If there is evidence that the primary reason for this marriage, despite claims to the contrary, is for convenience (greencard, money, property, etc.), forget it. This spells trouble.

4. Get to know your prospective partner, within the limits of what is permissible in Islam, before deciding on marriage. Just 'seeing' someone once or twice in the company of others, who may be anxious for this marriage to take place, is simply not enough under today's conditions, where two per- sons of totally dis-similar backgrounds are meeting each other without the safeguards of families. Without violating Islam's prohibition about being alone, try to understand his nature, what makes him tick, his temperament, what he might be like to live with.

5. Talk to several people who know your prospective partner, not just one, or have someone whom you can trust do this for you. Ask about him from various people, not just from his friends because they may conceal facts to do him a favour. And ask not only about his background, career, Islamicity, etc., but about such crucial matters as whether he gets angry easily; what he does when he is 'mad'; whether he is patient, polite, considerate; how he gets along with people; how he relates to the opposite sex; what sort of relationship he has with his mother and father; whether he is fond of children; what his personal habits are, etc. And find out about his plans for the future from people who know him. Do they coincide with what he has told you? Go into as much detail as possible. Check out his plans for the future - where you will live and what your lifestyle will be, his attitudes toward money and possessions and the like. If you can't get answers to such crucial questions from people who know him, ask him yourself and try to make sure he is not just saying what he knows you want to hear. Too many people will make all kinds of promises before marriages in order to secure the partner they want but afterwards forget that they ever made them, (this naturally applies equally to women as to men).

6. Find out about his family, his relations with his parents, brothers and sisters. What will his obligations be to them in the future? How will this affect where and under what conditions you will live? What are the character and temperament of each of his parents? Will they live with you or you with them? And are they pleased with his prospective marriage to you or not? Although it may not be the case in most Western marriages, among Muslims such issues are often crucial to the success or failure of a marriage, and answers to these questions need to be satisfactory to ensure a peaceful married life.

7. Understand each other's expectations. Try to get a sense of your prospective partner's under- standing of the marriage relationship, how he will behave in various situations, and what he wants of you as his spouse. These are issues which should be discussed clearly and unambiguously as the negotiations progress, not left to become sources of disharmony after the marriage because they were never brought up beforehand. If you are too shy to ask certain questions, have a person you trust do it for you. At an advanced stage of the negotiations, such a discussion should include such matters as birth control, when children are to be expected, how they are to be raised, how he feels about helping with housework and with the children's upbringing, whether or not you may go to school or work, relations with his family and yours, and other vital issues.

8. See him interacting with others in various situations. The more varied conditions under which you are able to observe your prospective partner, the more clues you will have as to his mode of dealing with people and circumstances.

9. Find out what his understanding of Islam is and whether it is compatible with your own. This is a very important matter. Is he expecting you to do many things which you have not done up to this point? If he emphasises " Haraams", especially if you are a new Muslimah, and seems unable to tolerate your viewpoint, chances are your marriage will be in trouble unless you are flexible enough to accommodate yourself to his point of view and possibly a very restrictive lifestyle. Let him spell out to you clearly how he intends to practise Islam and how he wants you to practise it as his wife so there will be no misunderstandings later.

10. Don't be in a hurry. So many marriages have broken because the partners are in such haste that they don't take time to make such vital checks as the ones outlined above and rush into things. Shocking as it may seem, marriages between Muslims which are contracted and then broken within a week or a month or a year have become common place occurrences among us. Don't add yourself to the list of marriage casualties because you couldn't take time or were too desperate for marriage to find out about or get to know the person with whom you plan to spend the rest of your life.

11. Ask yourself, Do I want this man/woman to be the father/mother of my children? If it doesn't feel just right to you, think it over again. Remember, marriage is not just for today or tomorrow but for life, and for the primary purpose of building a family. If the person in question doesn't seem like the sort who would make a good parent, you are likely to find yourself struggling to raise your children without any help from him or her - or even with negative input - in the future.

12. Never allow yourself to be pressured or talked into a marriage. Your heart must feel good about it, not someone else's. Again, allegations of "Islamicity" - he is pious, has a beard, frequents the Masjid, knows about Islam; she wears Hijab, does not talk to men - are not necessarily guarantees of a good partner for you or of a good marriage, but are only a part of a total picture. If an individual practises the Sunnah only in relation to worship or externals, chances are he/she has not really understood and is not really living Islam. Possessing the affection and Rahmah (mercy) which Islam enjoins between marriage partners is vital for a successful relationship, and these are the important traits to be looked for in a prospective partner.

13. Never consent to engaging in a marriage for a fixed period or in exchange for a sum of money. (Mut'a marriage). Such marriages are expressly forbidden in Islam and entering into them is a sinful act, as marriage must be entered into with a clear intention of it being permanent, for life, not for a limited and fixed duration.

If these guidelines are followed, Insha' Allah the chances of making a mistake which may mar the remainder of your life may be minimised.

Choosing a marriage partner is a most serious matter, perhaps the most serious decision you will ever make in your life since your partner can cause you either to be successful or to fail miserably, in the tests of this life and, consequently, in the Hereafter. This decision needs to be made with utmost care and caution, repeatedly seeking guidance from your Lord.

If everything checks out favourable, well and good, best wishes for happiness together here and in the Hereafter. If not, better drop the matter and wait. Allah, your Lord knows all about you, His servant, and has planned your destiny and your partner for you. Be sure that He will bring you together when the time is right. As the Qur'an enjoins, you must be patient until He opens a way for you, and for your part you should actively explore various marriage leads and possibilities.

Two words addressed to brothers are in order here. If you are marrying or have married a recent convert to Islam, you must be very patient and supportive with her. Remember, Islam is new to her, and chances are that she will not be able to take on the whole of the Shari'ah at once - nor does Islam require this, if you look at the history of  early Islam. In your wife 's efforts to conform herself to her newfaith and culture, she needs time and a great deal of support, love, help and understanding from you, free of interference from outsiders. It is best to let her make changes at her own speed when her inner being is ready for them rather than demanding that she do this or that, even if it means that some time will elapse before she is ready to follow certain Islamic injunctions. If the changes come from within herself, they are likely to be sincere and permanent; otherwise, if she makes changes because of pressure from you or from others, she may always be unhappy with the situation and may look for ways out of it. You can help her by being consistent in your own behaviour. So many Muslims apply those parts of the Qur'an or Sunnah which suit them and abandon the rest, with resulting confusion in the minds of their wives and children. Thus, while firmly keeping the reins in your hands, you should look at your own faults, not hers, and be proud and happy with the efforts she is making. Make allowances, be considerate, and show your appreciation of the difficult task she is carrying out by every possible means. This will cause her to love and respect you, your culture, and Islam to grow infinitely faster than a harsh, dominating, forceful approach ever could.

Finally, a word of warning. Certain situations have occurred in which women, posing as Muslims (or perhaps actually having made Shahaadah), have deceived and made fools of numbers of Muslim men. Such women may be extremely cunning and devious, operating as poor, lonely individuals in need of help and/or husbands. The brothers who fall into this net may be shown false photos, given false information or promises, cheated in all sorts of ways, and finally robbed of anything the conniving lady can manage to take from them. As was said, it is wise to check out any prospective partner with local Muslims who know her.

Keep your eyes open and take your time. Since marriage is for life, for eternity, hurrying into it for any reason whatsoever is the act of a foolish or careless person who has only himself or herself to blame if things go wrong......!

"Tips and Tricks For Students"

"Tips and Tricks For Students"

There is no short cut to success, this is the first thing you should remember. For this reason you have to study well first of all. But the preparations are different for different types of exams. Some competitive exams need long term preparation while your school level exams may need preparation of few months.

The 1st tip : Never fear or hate exam and be confident.

Some students study well but still may be much afraid of exams and due to this reason they get distracted and won't be able to score marks.So leave all your fears and free your mind before starting the study. You have to be confident and it is the most essential power you should have for attaining victory.

The 2nd tip: Prepare a good time table. 

Prepare a time table before starting the study. This should include all the subjects but may not be with equal priority. Tough subjects can be given more time and easier ones less but most importantly some time shall be allotted for entertainment and also there should be sufficient intervals between each subject.

The 3rd tip: Select a proper atmosphere for studying.

No need to explain this point. Study atmosphere has very important role. Can anyone study well while watching TV? So select a place where you feel comfortable. That is where you feel relaxed and can concentrate. And you have to make sure that while you are studying a subject you are concentrating on it only. So keep the books of other subjects away from your eyesight so that you won't be upset about the things you have to learn. And importantly it is better to study early morning when all the surroundings will be in silence and you can concentrate more. Your concentration really counts. Never place a mirror in the room such that you will ur reflection while sitting to study. This will lead to lack of concentration. And one top secret Study facing east or more accurately North east. This will give you great positive energy and your marks will definitely increase.

The 4th tip : Sit straight

This is so important that you have to sit in proper manner while studying. Don't study on bed or lying on a chair instead sit straight. Keep your spinal cord straight. And try to place your legs parallel to ground, a little bit raised from the ground. Other wise placing the legs on the ground causes ionization and induces sleep. And be alert that legs are not above the head level. This will affect the blood flow direction and causes sleepiness. It is better to place the legs almost parallel to ground but a little lower.

The 5th tip : Make notes while studying.

This is a very important point. While studying make small notes and that should not be descriptive make theme brief so that you can remember all points while doing revision with the help of that note. An ideal note shall include all important formulae and figures and also other important points. It will be a lot worth if you use this not for the revision in last one or two hours than u skipping through pages of your text book. It won't take much time to go through this note and if you feel tough anywhere you can refer for that portion in text book.

The 6th tip: Sleep well and Eat well.

You have to sleep well.Sleep deprivation study shows that Optimum hrs for sleep is 6hrs. Especially on the night before exam you have to sleep well, atleast 6 hours and not more than 8 hrs. Remember this will have a great effect on your exam. And have your food as in your daily diet. Don't fast on exam day. This will have reverse effect, so please have food properly. There are some food items you have to avoid and some other you have to include in your diet on exam day. And don't forget to have a glass water before you go to bed, essential to keep your brain cells charged!!!

The 7th tip : Write and Present well.

The presentation is the major factor that affects your marks. Whatever you studied or prepared your marks will depend on how you present them in the answer sheet. The teachers may not be able to read all what you have written. Remember daily they are going through 30 to 40 papers.They will scan for points. So try to present answers in points. In essay questions don't forget to underline the important points . Your hand writing also affects your marks. Try to write neatly. if it is not good enough, don't worry, if you presented it in a good manner you can score more marks. And another important factor to remember, As we all know 'First impression is the best impression'. So, answer the questions you know well, first. This will create a good impression on the evaluator and though you couldn't write some last answers well, that won't deduct your mark much. And care shall be taken so that you manage time well and is able to attend all questions. If there is any question out of syllabus, you just attend it. Usually full marks are awarded for such questions.

The 8th tip: Never malpractise in exam hall.

Never malpractise in exam hall as it may even affect your marks and also some times you won't be allowed to continue the exam. If you don't know answer don't write. Keep in mind that you are writing exam for you, to prove yourself. There will be no problem if you have followed the above steps, For sure you can score good marks.

The 9th tip: Believe in God, Believe in you.

The last but not the least point pray well before the exam and your mind should be free at least 5 minutes before exam. Pray can give immense energy and peace to your mind that will definitely do good for you.And it is much important that you are confident about what you can and will always produce pleasant result.

Also remember one thing please don't discuss soon after exams.This won't do good and may affect your coming exams.If your friends are discussing question paper avoid them and come to house soon.

"And above all you think about your parents their difficulties and sufferings and how they care you , you owe to them much, don't you?. The best gift you can give them is your victory. So never disappoint your parents. Study is not for them they are compelling you to study for your future. And ultimately what I have to say is that You have a lot of opportunities now.If you are serious in your studies for a few years of your life then the remaining part of your life will be fruitful and you people shall never stop study after getting a degree or a small job always look for higher studies and aims big hurdles like CAT, GATE, GRE, IAS,IES etc.So think your self and try your best."
AS WE ALL KNOW "ALLAH HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES"

Appearance vs. The Authentic

Appearance vs. The Authentic

    Our own age seems to be governed by illusion and deception. We have built a whole culture based on appearance. Everything looks good, but scratch just below the surface, and you will discover little substance. Appearance has become a standard.

   We have grown so numb to the realities of good and evil that lying and cheating have become almost universally accepted as necessary evils. So we tolerate them, as long as they are performed in the dim light of "respectability." Occasionally, in the midst of this cultural darkness, the great light of the human spirit shines forth with honesty and integrity. At those times we seem surprised, even taken off-guard. Honesty, loyalty, and integrity seem almost out of place in the modern schema.

   But beneath the surface, under the guise of appearances, this age like any other is made up of people like you and me. And if you listen carefully, if you look closely, you will discover that the people are hungry. Created to love and be loved, we feel a restlessness, a longing for more, a profound discontent with our lives and with our culture. Our hunger is not for appearances, but for something of substance. We are hungry for truth.

   The people of today are starving for the authentic, thirsting for the tiniest droplet of sincerity, aching to experience the genuine.

KASHMIR,,, MY MOTHER LAND.....

By; Abrar Gulshan

Chhalak Parha Dard